The art of gifts

I have come to believe over the last six years that no one is able to give a gift as well as Chinese people. The things I have been given during my trips mean the world to me, because I know they are given with such caring and kindness. This makes shopping for the gifts I take with me each time even harder....because I love my friends there so much and of course want to find JUST THE RIGHT THING to take them. As I was finishing up my packing today, I put in a present for my friend Ao, who I will get to have dinner with on this trip. It reminded me of a post I wrote almost a year ago that I thought I would share today.

My next post will be from Beijing.

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Sometimes I get so busy with the "work" type reports from China that I don't take the time to write about some of the amazing people that we have met along the way of our travels. Tonight I was thinking about some of them,and I thought you would enjoy reading about one truly incredible young man I have met.When I first started going to Shantou, on my second trip, I met a young bellboy named Ao. He was 18, and he was fascinated that a white woman would come to work in an orphanage. In Shantou, there are only 12 foreigners who live in the entire city, so white people truly are unusual. We struck up a conversation one day and he asked me SO many questions about my life, my children, America. Every time I would come into the hotel he would run over to speak with me and he would call out "hello Mrs. Amy Eldridge!" when I walked through the lobby. On my next few trips, we became better and better friends, and I always looked forward to seeing him. In early 2004, he became bell captain, after just a year. He was so proud of his new uniform, and continued to brighten my days when I would come back and forth to the hotel, usually at very late hours.

During our cleft trip, he was so very kind to me. He knew I was working 18 hour days, and he would send up fresh fruit for me. I didn't get a chance to see him very much on that trip, but I would still occasionally hear "hello Mrs. Amy Eldridge!" as I came and went. In October, he came running up to me in the lobby with a bag he had saved for me for six months. Inside were surgical scrubs that our team had worn back in May. He had folded them all up and placed them in the back office, just waiting for the day that "Mrs Amy Eldridge" would come back to claim them.

The first thing I noticed on this trip was that he had on a sportcoat. He proudly told me that he was the new night manager of the hotel. At age 20. His English was becoming better and better, and he told me that he was self teaching himself with an English dictionary for long hours at a time. One night I brought back some of the teenagers from the orphanage for a quick visit, and he had them all in giggles as he escorted them to the elevator and then bowed and waved us in. He said, "and these girls are?????" and I smiled and said "my very good friends", and then he gave a deeper bow and said "then warmest welcome to you ladies", which had the girls in an absolute titter.

A few days before I left on this last trip, I got an email from Ao that he had seen my name on the reservation and that he would have a surprise for me when I arrived. He warmly welcomed me back to Shantou and took me up to a new room that they had just finished painting the day before. He was SO PROUD that he had installed an in-room computer modem for me to use. He said "Mrs Amy Eldridge is always so busy and so I wanted to make her job better". I never had the heart to tell him that I don't own a laptop. He was so happy that he had been able to do something in friendship to make my life easier while I was there.

Before I left for China, I realized how very much I looked forward to seeing this young man who always has a smile on his face and who always welcomes me back in such a warm way. So I went out shopping for him, and I found a beautiful blue and silver pen that was simple but elegant, and I could just imagine Ao using it in his work. It was not expensive....not at all.....but I had fun shopping for him. When I arrived, I immediately noticed that he had on a full suit, and he came hurrying over to do a full turn so I could take in his uniform. He then proudly presented me with his business card which said "Assistant Manager". I did a pretty Oklahoman thing and gave out a "woohoo!!!" which made everyone in the lobby turn to see us.

During my few days in Shantou, there were several times that Ao came to find me to talk, and suddenly I realized that he always asked about MY work, and I had not asked about his. So I asked him to tell me his life story. He explained that he was from way far north, in a place I wouldn't know. I smiled and said "try me." He said he was from Dalian, in a small town called Siping. When I said "I know that town....there is an orphanage there", he couldn't believe it. He did not know there was an orphanage in his home town. He told me the town was very, very poor. Ao told me that his father had died when he was very young, and that his family was always struggling to survive. His mom did not have good health, and so, at the age of 16, before he could finish his schooling, he decided he had to become a man and set out to find work to support his mother. He told me that there was just no possible way for him to go to college, so he quit school knowing he had to find work.

When he was just 16, he said goodbye to his mom and got on a train, not really knowing where he was going. He rode on the train for 53 hours straight, and then got off in Shantou. For six months he tried to find work, and finally, FINALLY, he was hired at the local hotel as a bellboy. He said he worked as hard as he could to send money to his mother. And then after two years, he became bell captain, and then night manager, and now assistant manager. I told him that his mother must be so very proud of him, and he smiled and said she was. I told him I was proud of him, too! 53 hours on a train to find his fortune, and then working night and day to try to make a better life for his mom.

The last night in Shantou, I asked him to come up to my room because I had a gift for him. He was speechless and said he could not accept. But I just smiled and told him that it was such a small gift and so he had to take it. Upstairs in the hallway, I gave him the small box with the blue and silver pen. I told him again, "really, it is such a small gift....but I had so much fun thinking of you and buying it for you." And then Ao....this young 20 year old who had lived the last four years on his own, told me he had no gift for me in return. But then he said, "perhaps you would accept a story as my gift?"

He then apologized if his English wasn't perfect, and he proceeded to tell me an old Chinese tale from Dalian. He told me the story of a simple peasant and a very kind emperor who did great things for the people of China. And the peasant wanted to give the emperor a gift, but he had no money at all to do so. One day the man saw a beautiful golden bird, and he wanted to give it to the emperor so badly, so he worked and worked and worked trying to catch it. One day, he succeeded and he held on to the golden bird with all his might. The man started the long journey to the emperor, and he walked and walked and walked, under the hot sun and over mountains, all the while cradling the beautiful golden bird, knowing that he would have a fitting gift for the king. Right before he got to the emperor's home, he was so weak from walking that he relaxed his grip on the bird and it flew away. The man jumped and tried to catch the bird, but he was only able to grasp one golden tail feather. Saddened, he headed to the emperor and got in line with others bringing gifts. The people around him all laughed at his gift. "What sort of gift is that for a king?" they asked. Finally it was the peasant's turn, and he humbly went up to the emperor with his single feather. He told the king, "I had wanted to bring you a golden bird like the sun, but the bird escaped. And so I bring you a gift that is not grand, but very small. But please kind king, know that this simple gift carries with it all of my love, and I give it to you with all of my heart."

By then, Ao was standing in the hallway with tears streaming down his face. He said, "Mrs. Amy Eldridge, I give you this story with my whole heart,because you were the very first friend I felt I had in Shantou." Somehow I managed to get back inside my room before crying. The next day he was at the manager's desk smiling his regular huge smile, saying "hello Mrs Amy Eldridge!" and he took his new pen from his suit coat pocket and waved it at me. It was very hard to say goodbye to him this time, because I had no idea when I would see him again. I will miss seeing him.

I have met so many wonderful people in China.....dozens and dozens of people like Ao, who live with so little ......and yet who live with such kindness and grace that it brings tears to your eyes. I will never forget Ao's story, because he gave it with his whole heart. It has nothing to do with how much a gift costs, does it? It has everything to do with your heart. You cannot measure the worth of something given with such sincere kindness.