Tuesday in Kaifeng

Kaifeng

I really don’t even know where to begin. Today was one of those days that will live in my mind forever.

We started out by shopping some more for the orphanage kids. Bicycle shopping was just so much fun. We picked out some really nice bikes and the store owner threw in some really sturdy metal baskets for the front of them and even bicycle bells for free.

Then it was time to head to the orphanage. Kaifeng is a city of 300,000 people and the orphanage normally houses about 80 children. It sits on the outside of the city, down a rural street. As we drove down the road we saw men walking their oxen.

When we got to the orphanage, I immediately recognized the vice director from the cleft mission. She is such a kind woman and it was wonderful to see her again. Another vice director and the section chief were also there for the meeting, and I took out an envelope full of pictures of one of the first children adopted from the orphanage. (Kaifeng has only been doing adoptions for less than year). When the vice director called out the child’s name, the other women literally RAN to see the pictures and they were all so happy and excited to see her looking so wonderful and healthy in the U.S.

As we toured the orphanage, I watched the aunties and staff and the overall feel is one of great kindness. We went to the first baby room and right away we spied one of our cleft babies. He was doing the same “hook ‘em horns” sign with this fingers from September! We also saw another baby we had evaluated on the mission and I couldn’t get her in my arms fast enough. Karen and I went bed to bed to check on each new arrival and we identified many children that will need surgery. One beautiful little girl had a meningocele, another had significant hydrocephalus, there was a little boy with obvious heart disease and the cutest new cleft baby who had just arrived this month. He was so precious! He was snoozing under one of the blankets that was sent by the WCC group. The aunties asked me if the blankets were homemade and we assured them they were homemade with a LOT of love. They all smiled at that and gave a thumbs up.

We had a great time in the next room with the older children. We got to see Li, who had recently had his leg amputated. He was sitting in his new wheelchair and he is just so cute. We also saw Bei, who had the surgery for his burns, and he is the sweetest little boy with Downs. I came in and kneeled down to take his hand and he was rubbing my hands over and over with the biggest grin.

I got out my balloon pump while Karen started handing out Kix. Everyone needs to trust me that Kix are a necessity on an orphanage trip! Nothing breaks the ice faster. Long was also in this room (we did his hernia surgery), and we had an absolute ball handing out matchbox cars and making balloon hats. The five older school kids were at first a bit reserved, but within two minutes they were our new best friends. They were blowing up balloons and eating Kix and having a grand old time.

In the next room we visited, there was a little boy who touched my heart so much. He was about four years old and was completely blind. When I kneeled down to shake his hand, he grabbed my hands with his and began rubbing his cheeks. He couldn’t see the Kix that we had placed in front of him, so I put a few in his mouth and the look on his face was pure joy. The director gently took his hands and tried to show him with his fingers that the cereal was in front of him. I could have sat there all day feeding him, but I knew we had a lot more to see and the time was passing much too quickly.

As we got to the end of that room, Karen pointed to a baby and asked if she had a special need or not. The aunty said, “we don’t know if that is even a boy or a girl because the police just delivered that baby 15 minutes ago.” Oh what a tiny little child…..it was obvious from her size and the shape of her head that she had just been born within the last few days. It was very emotional for me to hold her, because she kept opening her mouth and turning her head into my body to try and nurse…..she was searching for her momma and she had the most bewildered look in her eyes. We told the aunty to please get her a bottle and she immediately began to eat with such intensity that I could only wonder how long it had taken for someone to find her and bring her to the orphanage. I am writing “she” because they did a quick check and she was a very tiny baby girl.

We noticed so many interesting things about this orphanage. One of the main ones was that the number of non special needs children in the orphanage was so small…..only 3 babies could go through the non special needs adoption track. The other interesting statistic was that 90% of all of the babies are left at the hospital in town. Karen and I both agreed that these two facts together seemed to show that people in this region rarely abandon their babies simply because a child is a girl. 90% of the time, it must be that they go to the hospital and are told that the child has a medical need and then they most likely cannot afford the care.

It was wonderful to see all of the great formula that had been delivered through our nutrition program. 14 enormous cases of the best formula you can buy. We wanted to take a picture of a child holding a can of the formula, and so they brought the cutest three year old to be our model. Well…..let’s just say she didn’t really want to be a model at the moment. She reluctantly held the can but there was no way in Hades that child was going to smile. Everyone was laughing as she basically ignored us through the whole photo shoot. She was determined to look ANYWHERE besides at my camera. She is a beautiful child and she will hopefully be adopted in 2006.

After we toured the rest of the orphanage, we came out to discover that the bicycles we had bought had been delivered. We called the school kids out and they were SO excited! We told them to hop on and go for a ride and so they treated us all to their bicycle skills as they rode up and down the lane to the orphanage, ringing their bells of course! This will help them so much because now their journey to and from school will only take about 15 minutes by bike.

We headed off to lunch and when we arrived at the restaurant, as soon as we got out of the car we saw CuiCui and her father. They had come from their village to meet us! CuiCui, the oldest child we healed on the cleft mission, looked INCREDIBLE. The repair could not have been more perfect. She came over and gave us a HUGE hug, and her father came up and thanked us again and again for bringing this “miracle” to his daughter. We also got to meet her 11 year old little sister, who was quite shy but so cute. We all went up for lunch together, and as we waited for the food, her father told us how much he wished we could have gone to their village. He said the entire village was ready to welcome us with open arms because they were so happy for CuiCui. She is well known in her village for being so smart, and everyone is hoping she can pass her college entrance exams in June. Her father said he understood we were short on time but that anytime we ever come to the area, we are so welcome to his home. They had brought gifts for us, which of course we did not want from them as we know how very much they struggle just to live each day. We were told by the woman who had gone to get them for us that their village is a very poor one, and their family is one of the poorest. They spend just 1.5 yuan a day for food. They have five in the family and live in a tiny house with only 3 beds in one room. Karen and I both noticed the father’s coat…..how threadbare it was, but he was SO proud of his kids. I cannot even begin to tell you what a kind man he is and what an unforgettable moment it was to see him and his daughters in Kaifeng. Karen and I both noticed that none of their family was eating during lunch and we realized that they had never eaten in a nice restaurant before and they believed they would have to pay for what they ate. We encouraged them to please eat up!

The director decided he wanted to start toasting, and that part was pretty interesting as I do not drink. I like to “fake it” during toasts, but after one very eloquent one, he said “please bottoms up”. Well…since we were standing facing each other I was caught so I took a deep breath and drank up. Then it was CuiCui’s father’s turn, who toasted us while saying “I have never drank before but since this seems to be your custom……” ha ha ha……

All too soon, lunch was over and we had to say goodbye. I told Karen later that the cleft trip was so much work….so many months and months of planning and worries, but looking at CuiCui, you know that even for ONE child, all of the work is worth it. Her entire life has been changed. She had written us a letter and in it she said, “I never dreamed such a gift could be given to me.” I hope that everyone who went on the cleft trip, and all of the people who supported the cleft mission with their donations realizes what they have done for this beautiful young lady.

After lunch, we went back to the orphanage to rock babies and discuss some of their needs. I met one little girl who is one who is missing the same arm as my son Hao. Oh did her aunty love her! She was all bundled up in this quilted snowsuit and we asked where they got their clothes and were told that the aunties sew them each by hand. Oh they looked so warm! This aunty kept telling me how beautiful, smart, and loving this little girl was, and I told them “I wish I could adopt her when I adopt Hao and have twins!” and they all laughed and said “wouldn’t it be lovely if it was so easy?” Her papers have actually been filed for the waiting child program and I think it will take a whole ten seconds to find her a family when she hits an adoption list.

We continued to evaluate the kids and came to a tiny little baby. We were told that she, too, had been brought just that day, from the hospital. She was just gazing up at me and seemed so content. Oh she was lovely.

We discussed many ways that the kids could be helped….from foster care to education to helping with new windows and a playground. I have to say that this director doesn’t ask for anything….and is very reluctant when pressed for their needs. I like him very much. They do have a nice big area that would be wonderful for a playground. There are definitely days I wish I was a millionaire. Of course, I would only be a millionaire for one day as I would spend it all on the kids immediately! J

We quickly ran back to the hotel for a moment, and in the short time we were there, Karen managed to blow all the electricity in our hotel. She tried to plug in a surge protector and the whole system blew. We were trying our very best not to be heard laughing (in a mortified way) as we heard the man next door calling the front desk to inquire why there was no electricity. Thankfully it was up and running quite quickly!

The next part of the day was just completely unforgettable. We had asked to take the older kids out to KFC, and asked the staff to come as well. We all met up at 6 p.m. and the kids were SO excited to be eating out. We were told they had never eaten out before, and I wish I could captured the exact moment when the waitress put the menu in front of them. It was filled with pictures of all the dishes you could order and their eyes were as big as saucers! We told them to order WHATEVER they wanted, and so each of them got chicken, French fries, a hamburger, and ice cream. For some reason, the ice cream came first but we figured “this is a night to remember so of course we should eat dessert first”. One of the little girls had the most amazing expressions. Each time she would put a scoop of vanilla ice cream in her mouth, she would close her eyes in pure delight and give a little sigh. Those kids ate EVERYTHING……a huge burger, lots of chicken, our chicken, fries, cream pies, ice cream, and then even seconds on ice cream. We taught them to play tic tac toe while we waited for the courses, and they quickly caught on and beat us several times. They were real strategists. J It was such a fun evening, and I will never forget it. We told the vice director that people in the states truly want to adopt older children and at first she didn’t believe us, but then after we assured her that the 9 and 10 year old girls WOULD be chosen, she turned to her colleague so excited. We told them that 14 was the cut-off, but that every child up to that age should have the chance of adoption. I hope we see many more kids from Kaifeng on waiting child lists this year.

Following dinner, we took a stroll down the food vendor street to sample traditional Kaifeng treats. They are famous for their peanut butter cookies, their black rice pudding, and their apricot tea. I tried a little bit of everything, and it was so neat to see them make the apricot tea. They poured the hot milk from an enormous dragon kettle that they told me was an antique….it had been passed down for generations. It was mixed with cherries, apricots and sesame seeds and it was really delicious. Finally we couldn’t stay out in the cold any longer and so we had to reluctantly say goodbye. It was such a full and wonderful day. As we drove back to the hotel, I reflected back on all we had seen that day. My thoughts kept going back to the tiny little one all bundled up and safe in the orphanage but looking so overwhelmed. There isn’t any way to properly describe what it means to me each time I hold a newly abandoned baby and know that my own family could not be the way it is now without the sadness of this initial moment. Oh what I wouldn’t give to have been able to hold my own daughter at the same age….but since I couldn’t, I cherish the moments when I get to rock and hold these newest arrivals, saying a prayer for each of them that their own mommas will be coming very shortly to take them home.